Saying Goodbye

Wrapping your head around shocking news is tough. Even though you have heard something it can take a while for it to sink in and seem real. Morey's cancer diagnosis and poor prognosis was almost unbelievable since it came so suddenly.

I was thankful to be able to take Morey home but wasn't sure how much time or what his quality of life would be like. It made me incredibly happy to see him show interest in his ball and his food on Saturday which was much more than he had done the day before.

Sunday I took Morey to church for the last time. Thinking of all the "lasts" ahead of me was so sad. I knew people would want to love on Morey so I gave him "pew privileges" so it was more comfortable for him and easier for people to pet him. He looked surprised when I told him to jump but seemed quite comfortable! It was Palm Sunday and the choir was presenting a Cantata so it was lovely to hear the beautiful music and hear the message of Easter.

Some things you can't deal with on your own and this definitely qualified! My mom bought a one way ticket since we weren't sure what to expect. Morey was feeling well enough to go in to the airport to greet her. As a man came up to me to tell me how to make liver treats it made me realize how much I will miss not having a service dog by my side. People see you and interact with you differently when you have a dog and that is something I will miss. Losing a service dog has so many layers of loss- not only losing your precious dog and best friend but also the assistance and connections they provide.

Morey had a follow up appointment with Dr. Oliver, our regular vet on Monday. She was pleased to see the improvement in his comfort and agreed that he should continue taking his heart medication and Chinese supplement (Yunnan Baiyao) to help with blood clotting. She spent over 45 minutes with us, talking and also grieving with us. It was a sad reality check when she said we didn't need to bring him back- although Morey was probably glad for that!










I wanted to give Morey's friends a chance to say goodbye so I invited all his local friends to stop by the house on Monday evening. I put together a display of Morey's memories: photos, agility ribbons, halloween costumes and of course his UT collar. It helped to remember all the wonderful times we have had together, even though it hurts to think we may not have many more. Morey enjoyed the attention but seemed confused to see some of his friends at his house. By the end of the evening he was worn out but it was special to get to enjoy one last time with him and his friends.

 

Some folks weren't able to make it with such short notice and I invited them to share a favorite memory of Morey. It made me smile amidst the tears to remember what an impact he has had on so many people!

On Tuesday Morey went in to work to say goodbye. This was perhaps the hardest to think that it was the last time he would accompany me into the office. Once again he got couch privileges as people from my office and all around our building and department stopped by to say goodbye. Everyone lingered, not wanting to have to leave and say the final goodbye. He had a tough time walking from my office to the car and I realized this would likely be his last outing. I couldn't keep the tears from falling as I thought of all the times we had rolled the halls together and knowing that from now on I would be alone. Morey will be missed by so many people but by me most of all!